— Inner Mastery, Outer Impact —
Master Your Inner Core with our 9-day Reflection Journey
Who is the most important hero in your life? Take a moment and pick one — real-life or fictional.
I’m curious to know if you ended up picking the same hero that Ben, a successful finance professional in his late thirties, introduced to my executive MBA class at Columbia Business School one day. Here’s what he shared with us:
When I was fourteen, I was struck by cancer. I was a fighter, and I was able to fight it off with the help of the right therapies. It was a tough period, but I came out victorious. I returned to school and gradually picked up the pieces of my life. It felt good to beat cancer.
Then, at sixteen, the cancer came back. This time, I felt totally sapped of spirit and energy. Another round of cancer therapies started, and I just couldn’t muster up the strength to fight again. This time, the cancer was winning.
One day, my mother took my hand in her hand and looked lovingly into my eyes.
“Son, I want to tell you a story about your father. Everything you know about him has come through my stories since he died before you were born, and this is one story I have not shared with you so far. It was my birthday, and he came home with a big smile on his face. He had a surprise for me, he said.
“We got in our car and he drove me up the highway. We stopped at a car dealership. And then it dawned on me. He was going to buy me the car of my dreams! This was the car I had dearly wanted for so long. He had been saving up for it quietly, and now he was going to give me this beautiful birthday gift. I was so happy that day.
“We returned to our old car, for he wanted us to drive home sitting together in the same car. We were pulling the new car with some chains attached to the bumper of our old car. As we were driving down the highway, the chains started to loosen up a bit, so he stopped the car on a side lane and got out to fix it.
“Then, suddenly, BANG!
“I looked back in horror. A truck had crashed into our new car from the back, and your father had been crushed in between our old car and the new one. He was dead. I have never shared with you before the circumstances of his death, and now you know.
“I was in shock, and I felt a deep sense of despair. I opened the door, and I was about to walk into the highway, intent on getting hit by a passing vehicle so that I, too, would be dead. There was no point living anymore.
“And then I felt this little kick in my womb. It was you. It was as though you were telling me, ‘Mom, don’t take your own life. I know this is a terrible thing to happen. You have lost your husband, and I my father, and we will always grieve our loss. But we will survive, and one day we will even thrive. So stay back here with me, and keep your hope alive.’
“Son, that day, you were my hero.
“You saved me from taking my own life. And ever since then, you have been my hero. There have been so many times when I have leaned on you for wisdom and strength and grace. And today,” she said, squeezing my hand, “I again need you to be my hero. I want you to stay in this fight. I want you to win again. I want you to be back in the arena of life and grow into the wonderful man I have seen in you from the time you were not even born.”
This story, and my mother’s appeal, was like a bolt from the blue. I found a surge of strength within me. I kept my spirits high. I regained my hope for the future. And I survived cancer, for a second time. It has never returned, and I have been healthy ever since.
Every one of us in the classroom was enraptured by Ben’s story, and some were in tears. He then wrapped it up with this powerful message.
I share this story today because I want all of you to know that just as I have been a hero in my mother’s life, you, too, are a hero in some people’s lives. You owe it to them to be your best self, to fight the good fight, to reach your highest potential.
The light within us — our inner core
After doing strategy consulting at McKinsey and Company and founding a Silicon Valley startup, I came to Columbia Business School thinking it was my responsibility to shine a light for my students on the big questions in life — only to discover, through stories like Ben’s, that this light is already present within us all. This inner light is what all the great luminaries have sought to kindle, within themselves and within humanity. To capture this idea more succinctly:
Within each of us lies a space of highest potential, our inner core, and it is when we activate this core in ourselves and others that we create our greatest impact and bring positive, lasting change in the world.
The inner core is not an abstract idea; it is a deeply felt state that we enter by regulating our thoughts, feelings, mindsets and intentions. Today, findings across many scientific disciplines are validating the transformative possibilities in life of tapping into these five energies:
Stay true to your light.
At the height of the Civil War, as President Lincoln faced fierce criticism from all corners of the country, he reflected, “It is my ambition and desire to administer the affairs of the government [such] that if at the end I should have lost every other friend on earth, I shall at least have one friend remaining and that one shall be down inside of me.”
As we explore the principles and practices of Inner Mastery, Outer Impact, you, too, will find yourself in an abiding kinship with the most important hero in your life: the friend down inside you, your inner core.
Let’s discover it together.
In my newsletter over the next three months, I will introduce you to 12 Principles for Success in Life and Leadership that are based on the award-winning course I have taught for the last seventeen years at Columbia Business School, Personal Leadership & Success, and my book, Inner Mastery, Outer Impact. I invite you to read on — more than 10,000 executives, lawyers, physicians, educators, MBA students and formerly incarcerated citizens have already practiced these principles with me and marveled at their transformative power. You, too, will be fascinated by how much farther you can go in your personal and professional lives.
Next week, I will share the first principle through the story of an Australian palliative care nurse who asked people a simple question about regret. Their surprising response reveals a powerful insight into what it takes for us to live a fulfilling life.
Note: Parts of this newsletter are excerpted from my book, Inner Mastery, Outer Impact: How Your 5 Core Energies Hold the Key to Success.
