How I got whacked by a law of human nature

Just as there are laws of nature, there are laws of human nature. These laws are timeless and universal, holding true across generations and cultures. When we operate in accordance with these laws, we maximize the conditions for happiness, health, harmony in relationships, and high performance.

One day at the airport, I got whacked by one of these laws.

“Your roller bag is too big. You need to zip up the expandable part,” the airline employee instructed me. Earlier that morning, I had packed three immaculately ironed shirts for a business trip to Chicago, expanding my suitcase to make sure the shirts didn’t get wrinkled.

But then came this command from the employee who was checking our boarding passes as we entered security.

“Oh, no,” I thought, “she can’t make me do this!” I hustled, reading her name off her badge. “I’ll make sure my bag fits in the aircraft, Rita. If I can’t fit this bag in the storage space above my seat, I’ll zip it when I get there. I don’t want to do it right now because it will wrinkle my shirts. I’m on a business trip.”

Rita was not impressed. “You need to zip up this bag.”

“But what will happen to my shirts?” I looked beseechingly at her two colleagues. Perhaps one of them would jump in and help me. They stood sphinx-like, so I turned my attention back to her. 

“Look, Rita, you were not listening to what I said. I will zip up the bag in the aircraft if needed. There is no point in doing it here. I just got my shirts ironed.”

“Do it now. You will not be flying with this bag if you do not zip it up.”

“Really? You’ll stop me from flying because of this? I wish to speak to your manager.”

“I can’t allow you to advance in this line. Please step aside.”

I wanted to win, so badly. “OK, have it your way. I will not enter this line — I’ll find another line and I’m sure the staff there will be more reasonable.” I scanned the terminal for another security line whose staff would treat my shirts with R.E.S.P.E.C.T. 

There was one other line, and it was just a few yards away. But the staff there had witnessed the unfolding spectacle and were already shaking their heads. “Sir,” one of them said, “we can’t allow you to enter the line like this. Do as Rita says. Zip your bag.”

I threw up my hands in despair, capitulated to their command and zipped my bag. My shirts were crushed — and with them, for that moment, my spirit too.

I have replayed this episode in my mind many times: the dogged hero, the foolish villain, the heated clash, the final surrender. Rita always emerges as the dogged hero, and I the foolish villain. After all, she was just doing her job by enforcing what must have been the airline’s new policy for carry-on bags. On the other hand, my behavior was ludicrous. 

Why did I respond as I did? Because I got triggered.

We all slip into a triggered state at times, where we experience a heightened level of anger, anxiety, frustration or some other emotion. We are no longer centered, and we become our own worst enemy. Our judgment is clouded and we think, say or do things we likely will not be proud of the next day. 

This is a law of human nature. 

Sometimes, in my dealings with people, I forget this law — or worse still, I deliberately cast it aside because I feel my triggered state is justified. Lydia is so unreasonable! Michael deserves a piece of my mind! I will not allow them to trample over me! For a few minutes, I feel like a lion uncaged, but then the law gives me a whack, like the one I got from Rita. I’m reminded that I have the freedom to choose my actions, but not their consequences.

Take a moment to reflect. When you want to learn more about your true nature and the path to happiness, where do you go to search for these laws?

When I ask people what sources have taught them the most about life, I get a variety of answers that can be organized into three ways of knowing: science, experience and faith. But here is one thing I want to offer: If you only engage with these three sources in their outer forms, you run the risk of never fully discovering the truth. 

Supplement outer science with inner science, outer experience with inner experience, and outer faith with inner faith. 

In this 4-minute Commencement Address I gave at Columbia Business School, I spoke about these three inner sources of wisdom. As we examine these inner ways of knowing, we discover that in the ultimate analysis, there is only one source — one true teacher — that we can trust to help us realize our true nature. 

That is our own inner voice. 

In the weeks and months ahead, whenever you encounter a fresh idea, insight or piece of inspiration in this newsletter, I invite you to enter the calm lake of consciousness that lies beyond your thoughts, feelings and senses, and check whether the idea rings true to you intuitively, from the very essence of your being. You might awaken to a deep truth that your soul has always known.

When we dive in and take a deep look, what will we find at our core? That is the topic of our next newsletter, so hold tight.

Note: Parts of this newsletter are excerpted from my book, Inner Mastery, Outer Impact: How Your 5 Core Energies Hold the Key to Success.